Summer"time"

I love DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince's "Summertime" as much as the next twenty-something but it bothers me that the events laid out in the third verse are basically impossible. Can you really go to the mall (when it's already late in the day no less), hop in the water plug for old times sake, break to the crib to change your clothes, make it to the barbeque by 4, watch the old folks dance at your family reunion, reminisce about the days growing up and the first person you kissed, wipe your car down, go to the summertime hangout/car show and, wait a second, you supposedly just came from the barbershop/beauty salon and spent all day waxing your car. Um, I don't think I like the Fresh Prince's new definition of summer madness. I'll stick to doing just a couple of things a day during the summer, thank you.

Cliche of the day

Today's cliche is "star-studded." If it were a drinking game to take a shot every time I've heard that today I'd be face down in my neighbor's yard in a pool of vomit wearing only an apron and one paisley sock.

Tick, tick, tick

Have you ever planned a vacation or a short weekend getaway and the last day of work before you leave is excruciating? I'm feeling that way right now. We're off to Alta tonight and I've been at my desk planning the weekend all morning. Did I pack my swim suit? Does the car have enough gas? Did we buy enough hot dog buns? Who will pick up ice on the way home for the cooler? At approximately what time can I relax and open a cold beer? Did I pack the bug spray? Will it be sunny all weekend? Ugh, can the work day just be over now? I want to go, go, go.

What's that feet? You need shoes?

Are your feet trying to tell you something? Tangent warning. When I went to Western there was an article in the student paper where this girl's feet told her they hated shoes and asked her to be free. She complied and never wore shoes again, even in the middle of winter. She was on shrooms when her feet talked to her, obviously, feet don't talk to sober people.

Aneeeeway, Report Shoes is having a sample sale on Saturday. If your feet haven't asked you not to, you should go. Here is the info:

Once again my lack of computer skills has caused deep shame to my family. Ok, not really but I can't figure out how to make the picture bigger so I'll just have to tell you:

Report Sample Sale

Lots of great shoes in sizes 6-11 from a variety of brands including Report, Report Signature, R2 and more.

Saturday June 20th from 10-1 at 13150 SE 32nd St Bellevue, WA 98005.

100% of the proceeds go to New Beginnings. Google them.

Don't miss it unless your hippie feet revolt.

Rambling, it's better than nothing. I hope.

Oh my, this blog is on the bottom of the list. What list you ask. Well, I'm not sure what list. It could be on the summer to do list right under watch HGTV, watch the real housewives of anywhere they happen to be showing and sleep. Or, it could be on the list of things I haven't done in awhile such as hot yoga, avoid dairy and clean my condo.
The past month has been pretty slow. Lola is as stinky as ever. She turned 5 on June 4th but hasn't gotten the memo that she needs to stop acting like a spoiled anxious puppy. I got her a portable water bowl so she can rehydrate on long walks. She really liked it and told me it's the second best birthday gift she's ever gotten right behind Mr. Monkey. She also thanked me for keeping her alive with powdered pancreas enzyme. I told her she was welcome and I'm happy to do it.
On June 6th I partook in slight shenanigans at Ana's bachelorette party. We had a suite at the Farimont (just call me Mrs. High Roller) where Ana opened gifts and we drank drinks. Then we had a fab dinner at Purple and then we went to a variety of strange bars. First was the "hipster" bar called Vessel. The tall, lanky concierge with a lisp told me it was cool. I should have known better. The place had 3 chairs and bar menu the length of an encylopedia (it even had a glossary in the back). The drinks were $12 (note to Vessel: you're not Vegas). I think if they charge $12 for a cocktail they should have more than 3 chairs.
We then hobbled our way to The Triple Door where there was nothing happening. So we went to Kell's which was great until I started drinking Jeager and Red Bull and dancing like a robot. The robot is pretty sweet but you have to be with people who get you and expect your retarded antics. My sister's friends don't really know me so I think they were kind of like, "what the hell". We had a great time though and my sister's friends are a really fun group of girls. I am looking forward to seeing them all again at the wedding. Maybe I'll introduce them to the Axl.

This is me holding back from some smart-ass comment about my burning workplace

My sister called me tonight to ask if I was aware that my office was on fire. I went online and sure enough, there was smoke billowing onto I-90 as the building burned. My company has two offices, our main building and another couple of offices in a shared building down the block. This shared space is called the Annex office and this is the one burning tonight. I work in the main building so luckily all my files and samples are spared. A lot of my coworkers aren't so lucky. I don't know the whole story or the extent of the damage yet. I'll let you know what happens. 

Just wanted to let you know

If you're looking for a good source of hydration without tons of calories or sugar (or gross fake sweeteners), then I have found the thing for you. Try Nuun. The fizzy tablets are similar to Airborne. Just drop one into your water bottle and it hydrates you better than water without the stomach ache that comes with gulping a cold Gatorade. Dan and I got some free samples at Beat the Bridge yesterday and we're hooked. It doesn't taste too sweet and it has a little bit of fizz to keep your water interesting. Their website also has tons of good info about hydration. I love finding a good product and sharing so here you go. Try it out and let me know what you think.

Somebody call BPS

This blog is ne-glec-ted! 

I say F it, there's no poem. Sorry Stacie, I love you. You sat next to McLovin courtside at an NBA playoff game. I don't feel so bad now.  When you're in town I'll buy you a box of Oh's.

Let's move on...

No time for poetry, I've got a vacation to plan

I send my sincerest apologies to those of you who were anticipating a poem about Stacie; I have to postpone the poem post (alliteration fans, rejoice) because there is bigger news to share.

For approximately 7 years I have been craving a jaunt to the land down under, you know, where women flow and men sunder (or whatever the lyrics are), the place where people smile and give you a Vegemite sandwich. Yes, Australia! I can only think of cliches so I might as well just throw them at you. I can hardly wait, I am counting the seconds, I am beside myself, this is a dream come true, this is something I've always wanted to do, etc, etc. Side note: the worst cliche of all time is fun in the sun. Please refrain from ever writing that, anywhere. ever.

Dan and I found reasonably priced tickets last week and booked the trip (admittedly, on a whim). I am so excited to see my friend Lill and her parents and finally meet her bf Jordan and her sister Alice. It's going to be hard to wait 10 months but I'm thankful for the extra time to plan and save money. Now if I could only get "Land Down Under" out of my head. Thanks a lot Men at Work.

I will get to the poem eventually. Patience people, patience.

And the blog post goes to...

Fine, I've milked out all the guesses I'm going to get. My very very favorite cereal currently costs only $2.00 at Safeway and leaves a film of grease on the roof of your mouth. I am talking about delicious Oh's. Congrats to Stacie who posted her guess and immediately emailed me at work to make sure she was right. Yes, Stass, all those summer mornings after cheer practice eating Oh's at my house finally paid off. I already wrote a post about Stacie (read it here), so I'm going to get creative and channel my inner Sylvia Plath. No, I'm not sticking my head in the oven, I'm writing a poem about Stacie. I haven't written a poem since Poetry 351 at Western so it might take me a couple of days to put this one together. Bear with me folks and stay tuned for a poetic gem about Stacie.

A contest! A random ass contest.

What's your favorite cereal? Are you an old soul who likes Raisin Bran? Are you a kid at heart and you love Fruit Loops or Cookie Crisp every morning? Are you a health nut and carefully eat Kashi Go Lean served with a measuring cup? Do you mix it up? Do you eat cereal for dinner sometimes?

If you were on the '97-'98 LWHS cheer squad (go Kangs) you know what my favorite cereal is because you came over to my house every day in the summer after 8am practice and we ate cereal and watched A Wedding Story before heading out to Stacie's house or Waverly to sunbathe on the dock.

If you can guess or remember the name of my very fav cereal I will write my next post about you (and only say very nice things)* Fire up those brains and write your answer in the comment section. Good luck!

*Prize subject to terms and conditions. The first person to guess correctly will be awarded with a blog post about him or her in which only very nice things will be said. Date and length of post are at author's discretion. No revisions or edits will be made after post is published. Post may contain picture of winner to be chosen by the author. The winner will also receive a box of author's very very favorite cereal. If winner lives in the greater Seattle area, the author might come and eat cereal at winner's house or invite winner to do the same at author's house. Date of cereal eating get-together to be chosen by mutual consent of winner and author. Please note that author only drinks soy milk.